Shandong 5000 edges ahead in race for Fed chair

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“Sir, The financial crisis is
laced with ironies. In the run-up to catastrophe, bankers argued that, when it
came to regulation, “less was more”. Government believed them. Bankers claimed
that their risk management prowess made society safer. Governments applauded.
Meanwhile, the British Bankers’ Association, the industry’s leading advocate
for self-regulation, was blissfully ignorant of the biggest market manipulation
in financial history – Libor, the process for which the BBA was responsible.
Five years on, we now have bankers and their government cheerleaders insisting
that regulators back off. Once again, bankers know best. Their risk management
prowess is much improved. Oh, and the central bankers who bailed out the
financial system and who are working hard to forestall a repeat are now
labelled “jihadists” and the “capital Taliban”.


“Such name-calling is the
ultimate irony and a new low in behaviour. How on earth can bankers, much less
our public representatives, apply the terrorist moniker to well-intentioned
public servants ? Where is the sense of decency, proportion and statesmanlike
conduct for which we wait in vain ? And is it not the ultimate irony that the
banking fraternity that happily applies the term includes among its membership
the very institutions that facilitated payments to actual terrorists and
violent drug dealers ?”


to the editor of the FT from Robert Jenkins, London W9; Past member, Financial
Policy Committee.

The Shandong 5000 electroglide
flatbed currency printing machine has edged ahead in a fiercely competitive
fight for the chairmanship of the US Federal Reserve, narrowly in front of its
major rival, the Heidelberger Druckmaschinen high speed sheet fed rotary offset
press. In an ominous sign for supporters of the Heidelberger Druckmaschinen
candidacy, a number of US Senate Republicans are circulating a letter
supporting the Shandong 5000 model in its quest to replace Ben Bernanke at the
head of the world’s most important central bank. The Shandong 5000 is a six
colour high speed flexo letterpress printing machine which can churn out up to $2
trillion in high denomination bills in less than 60 seconds. The only other
serious contender, a 70 ton Komori Super Orlof Intaglio based in Tokyo, melted
after recent overuse.

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