Spending all day and night grinding my teeth to the sound of the opening and closing bells takes its toll. I have been so selfish and focused on nothing but performance for the past few years. Performance on the race track, performance of my funds, performance of my cars, performance in nocturnal activities. It is all about being better, faster and cleverer than the rest. Now the rest are running the race while I take it easy in the pit stop, I am getting closer to the real world where performance doesn’t seem to feature very much.
The problem is I don’t like what I see. 99% of the world is populated by, as Aldous Huxley once cited, semi-morons. Sometimes I wish I was as thick as manure for life would be easier. My complaint today is my once trusted personal assistant has a new boss and I am pa-less. It is a shocking state of affairs.
My luggage exceeded 23 KG by 1 KG and I didn’t know what to do. A call to my PA and she would normal sort this sort of stuff out but alas she is no loner there so I had to take some initiative. This involved removing a pair of trusty shoes and putting them in my hand luggage. Well that is not true because my leather tumi tote was packed full so I tied the laces together and hung the shoes around my neck.
When I got on the plane they tried to push me into economy so I waved my First Class boarding card and only then was I treated as a human being and escorted to my cubicle. And that is where I am now. Up in the sky.
Following an exclusive interview in a German magazine with a 100,000 circulation, some rather cruel commentators who scrutinized the photographs of me in various model like poses, said I had a beer belly. I can assure you, and my personal trainer will testify too, that my stomach is so tight that dust settles in the groves. So there.
AS SUN SETS ON 2009, ARE INVESTORS BACK IN LOVE WITH HEDGE FUNDS?
Curiously, the survey also found that investors are now far more concerned about all issues except fund performance. This time last year, over half said that the performance record was a “key consideration when choosing a hedge fund manager.” This year, the number has fallen to a third.
We are always loveable, even those who are retired or between hedge funds.
HEDGE FUND COUPLAND CARDIFF ASSET MANAGEMENT THREATENS TO QUIT LONDON OVER EU’S DIRECTIVE ON ALTERNATIVE INVESTMENT FUND MANAGERS
There are about 30 to 40 large managers, according to my sources at Simmons & Simmons, who are preparing to leave. Does anyone care? Well those who are employed do as they are likely to lose their jobs and the taxes will be paid elsewhere.
finalternatives says ” Hedge Fund Hiring Bounces Back “
bloomberg says ” Hedge Funds Headed for Best Year Since 2003, Eurekahedge Says “
HEDGE FUNDS ‘MISREPRESENT FACTS’
And I bet most of these don’t have independent Administrators are so are wholly based in the USA. Given 10o% of the banks lie about their balance sheets. 20% is a good result indeed. Mind you, taking this from a DDQ is a bit silly really. DDQs are soft marketing material mostly.